The Almighty Wig

All bow before His Royal Highness, that illustrious piece of costumery, the All-Powerful WIG! What? How dare you not bow?! Who do you think you are to show such disrespect to his majesty? You surely would bow if you but understood the far-reaching influence of this oft-underestimated item. So, this once, I shall spare you the punishment normally handed out for failing to show proper reverence to the almighty wig – beheading, of course – and shall instead enlighten you.

Though the wig may seem to you nothing more than an afterthought or a mere accessory when it comes to costumes and disguises, nothing could be further from the truth. The wig has a power all its own. Take time to ponder the following examples of just a few of the wig’s grand uses.

~Place a wig on your head and a transformation occurs. It magically allows you to take on a whole different persona. Put your average person in room full of wigs and watch how their facial expressions, body language, and behavior change with each wig they put on.

~It is virtually impossible to stay in a bad mood once you have placed a fun wig on your head. Wigs have the uncanny ability to cheer people up and make them smile and laugh.

~For certain looks, a particular hairstyle is an absolute must. For example you must have the rocker hair if you are in (or pretending to be in) an 80’s metal band. An afro is a key ingredient for the disco look. A bouffant or greased back ducktail is the only way to be really convincing for a 50’s look. There are so many situations like these, but do you really want to make a permanent change to your real hairstyle. Get a mullet, afro, or dread locks and see how well that goes over at the office. Wigs let you create that perfect look, without changing your everyday appearance.

~Gotta go undercover? All it takes a wig and you have everything you need to take on a secret identity. Don’t believe me? Ha, just watch a few episodes of Alias. All, secret agent, Sidney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) has to do is throw on a wig, and presto! - no one recognizes her.

~Wigs give those of us with a truly nutty, wild side a way to express it or give it an outlet. Turn a stroll though downtown into a wacky wig walk. Grab some fellow nutjobs, throw on some fun wigs and take a walk in a busy downtown. You’ll have a blast and be true entertainment for the crowds at the same time. Heading to a formal affair that has the potential of being a bit stiff and boring – a wedding, a fancy dance, funeral? Go ahead wear the tux, suit, or formal dress and top it off with a crazy wig – that’ll spice the whole thing up a bit. Your yearbook picture will be so much more fun and unique when wearing a wild wig. Everyone will remember you for years to come. Heck, just wear a costume wig to do your grocery shopping or house cleaning and it will take on a whole new feel.

~Test drive a new hairdo or color before you take the leap. Wear a wig in the style or color you are contemplating. It’s a great way to try before you buy. You may find that redheads do have more fun. Or you may discover that style that you thought was so sexy on Miss Famous-So-And-So, looks utterly hideous on you. Won’t you be glad you did the wig test drive first!

~Ease the suffering and avoid ultimate humiliation with a wig. Maybe your barber or hairdresser was having a bad day and you ended up with a butt-ugly hairdo. You don’t have to endure shame and embarrassment while you wait for it to grow out. Just wear a wig instead.

~Times are tough financially, but that’s no reason to miss out on the fun of having a great costume at your next theme party. A great, yet totally affordable costume wig plus a trip to the thrift store equals a great outfit. Just think of all the possibilities – from clown, to disco, to 80’s rocker, to 70’s, to white trash, to hippie, and the list goes on and on.

I can already feel your remorse for refusing to bow to the All-Powerful Wig at the beginning of this post. You are now beginning the realize the grand place the wig has in the costume world.

Ah, but there are so many more potential uses, so many ways to give the wig it’s proper place. To show your admiration and respect of the wig put on an event where the wig is the central theme. A Wig Party is a great theme party to have. It’s cheap and easy to do. The only requirement is that all attendees come wearing a wig (you might want to have a few extra wigs handy. There’s always someone who will show up without one). You can give a prize for the best wig. You can have a wig exchange, throwing all wigs into a pile then taking turns either picking a wig from the pile or off someone else’s head. In the end you’ll leave with a different wig than you wore when you arrived. Whatever you choose to do Wig Parties are always a good bet. Wigs bring out more laughing, more joking around, more energetic dancing, and more all-around fun.

Another great wig-centered event would be to organize or take part in a Wig Walk or Wig Run. Do this just for fun or for charity. Just keep the distance short (1-3 miles should do the trick), since wearing a wig will have your head heating up pretty quickly. Or keep it all cool with a Wig Paddle or Surf.

Now that you have been edumacated on some of the wonders of the wig, I’m sure you are quite prepared to show proper homage to His Royal Highness the Wig in the future. For your next costume, pick the wig first and build from there, or go with just a wig (that’ll get you some attention). And whatever other ways you choose to honor the Almighty Wig, don’t forget to bow.