The DILG Factor

The secret to a really great Halloween costume and having a great time at your local, monstrous Halloween party is a little known thing I refer to as the DILG Factor. You gotta have a good DILG factor or your night is probably going to be a disaster, or at least a major let down.

What is the DILG Factor you ask? As Ricky Ricardo always said, “Lemme splain.” DILG stands for, “Damn, I look good!” And that is what will make or break your Halloween costume experience.

Do you have that DILG attitude? Or are you doing one of these all night:
“Does this make my butt look big”
“Is it too short?”
“Do I look fat?”
Pulling and readjusting all night to try to hide something you think is bulging, popping, or escaping?

If you are doing any of those, you don’t have the DILG factor in your favor. You have got to feel great about yourself, and how you look, to have a good time. If your outfit is so complicated you have to mess with it all night, that’s all you’re going to remember. If it’s a size to small, you are going to be sucking that gut in every 10 seconds, and probably missing out on a great time. So make a pledge to knock that shit off right now.

Wear an outfit with a high DILG factor and you will have a blast. You’ll be focused on the fun and not feeling all self-conscious.

This guy's outfit is simple, but he's got a high DILG factor.

Cool wig, but check out the expression - no DILG factor here.

This girl's got DILG all the way.

Girls, I know Halloween in your time to go a bit scandalous, and that’s all good. But make sure the costume fits you – in size and feel. How do you feel in it? Is it “Damn, I look good,” or “I feel fat/stupid/skanky/uncomfortable?” Wear what works for you and gives you real DILG feelings.

Guys, I know for most of you it’s all about simplicity and comfort. You just want to throw on a hat and a shirt and call it a day. But do you have the DILG factor? Come on, step it up a notch and pick a costume that you look hot in!

It’s not just one type of costume that will give you the DILG factor. It can be anything . . .

from a clown, to a pirate . . .

or a sexy cop, . . .

or a sailor, . . . a witch, or a fairy tale character.

Whatever it is for you, that’s what you should be. When you feel DILG, then you act it as well.

Trust me on this – when you feel all DILG, you are pretty much guaranteed a great time.

And the Countdown Begins

Something mystical, supernatural, and terrifying happens when we get within 10 days of Halloween. People, all of a sudden, realize, “Oh my God! It’s almost Halloween and I don’t have a clue what to be!!!”


Everyone knows its October. And they know the big event of the month is Halloween, because it’s the monster party of the year. So why the last minute panic-attack? Here’s my theory on the cause of this frightful phenomenon. Rest assured, it is based on years of study, probing interviews, along with tapping of phone lines and other highly-sophisticated, spy-type behaviors I learned by watching Alias (and that Sydney Bristow, she knew a thing or two about the whole spy-gig and about costumes!)

While the dates stay in the single digits and teens (October 1st - 19th), everyone (except for the true geniuses out there) thinks they still have plenty of time. This is also known as "denial." Then it happens, the 20th of the month appears, and it hits them like an egg in the face. This moment of revelation is usually accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, breaking out in a sweat, and several moments of complete panic.

Once we hit the 20th of the month, well, then it becomes undeniable --- the 31st is almost here. Now it’s just days away instead of months. If you are one of the many who have yet to come up with a costume, let alone a great costume idea, I’m here to coach you through this moment. First BREATHE in and out deeply, several times.

Then ponder these questions:

1. How many parties am I going to?



2. How many costumes do I need?



3. Is there a certain theme to the party?



4. What look am I aiming for? (Sexy? Funny? Live out my fantasies? Be totally opposite ofwho I usually am? Pay homage to a favorite movie, character, person, or band? Express your naughty side, your dark side? )



5. Am I dressing as a couple or group?



6. How much money do I have to spend?
   
   These should help stir up some thoughts, and maybe point you in the direction of this year’s Halloween costume. Spend a few minutes, ponder a bit, jump online and browse, or hit your local year-round costume shop for some inspiration. (Did I mention, we are 52 Helena St. in Santa Barbara, CA?)

Then, in the name of all things Halloweeny, start putting your costume together! Like today!!! Seriously . .. NOW!!! If you wait, the symptoms of I-Don’t-Have-A-Costume-Itis become even more severe. And you even run the risk of developing a terminal case of the last-minute-losers. These are the folks who finally come up with a great idea, but can’t then find it anywhere. Or it’s too late to have it shipped on time. Don’t be one of those who end up having to settle for throwing a sheet over their head, and being a ghost.

Best Couple's Costume Idea for 2008

So you’ve got yourself a special someone this year. Wooo-hooooo! While that’s a great thing for your emotions, makes life funner, gives you companionship, yada, yada yada, lets get down to the real reason this is great news. It opens up a whole new world of Halloween costume possibilities. You get to coordinate your outfits and be a costumed couple.

There are your standard couples costume ideas -

Dr. Frankenstein and the Monster
Referee/Umpire and Player (football, basketball, etc)
Cowboy and Indian
Cop and Crook
Wild Animal and Hunter
Dog and Cat
Barney and Betty Rubble
Fred and Wilma Flintstone
Or for those who think there may have been something going on in the neighborhood:
Barney and Wilma
Fred and Betty
Mario and Luigi
Batman and Joker
Angel and Devil

As you can see the possibilities are, fricken, endless. You can match things that naturally go together or two opposites. Or try how about this . . .

Here’s an idea that’s good for this year only – I hope (oooops, did I just hint at my opinions on our Presidential candidates?). Go as McCain and Palin! The costumes are easy to put together and you can all sorts of fun. It’s an idea that will be unique to this year’s Halloween only (there I go again, letting my bias show), so make the most of it.

For McCain, just throw on a really boring black suit and a John McCain mask.


Palin is even easier. Outfit yourself with a conservative red dress or go with the pink and black outfit that Tina Fey made ever so popular in her SNL skit. A pair of glasses paired up with the hairdo and you’re almost there. You’ve got to do the Sarah Palin hairdo right - brown hair piled up in the back with bangs hanging down in the front. Do this with your own hair or use a wig with bangs. The icing on the Palin cake is the huge, fake, plastic smile. We have no costume piece for this, you’ll just have to plaster that toothy grin on and keep it there all night. Have a few drinks and before you know it, you will sound like Governor Palin as well – speaking in fragments with no apparent connection between the thoughts.

Get Ready for the LFL

For the last three years, as part of the halftime show during the Super Bowl, fans have been entertained with the Lingerie Bowl. Outfitted in matching bra and undie sets, along with helmets, shoulder pads, knee and elbow pads, two teams of good-looking, women battled it out on the grid iron.

Gotta love the cleats, with athletic tape --- what a great combo with lingerie!

What once existed only in the realm of every man’s fantasies, is now going to have its place in the real world. This skin-baring halftime event, is growing into a league of its own, the Lingerie Football League.

Ten teams, with 12 players per team, will play an eight game season, uniformed up in crowd-pleasing lingerie. The top two teams will then compete in the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday! Tryouts were held just days ago, where looks and some level of athleticism were rated. Looks, of course, being the most important quality being assessed -this is the Lingerie Football League, so how one looks in lingerie is a key factor. Football skills would be taught later.


Skimpy panties and bras, adorning curvaceous beauties, who are out there trying to run, catch, throw a block and ultimately score will be the ultimate entertainment for many.

Uniform malfunction in the making!

I can’t help but wonder . . .
where will the teams’ names and logos go?
will numbers and player names be on the lingerie or painted on their bodies?
what sorts of new penalties will be created (“uniform malfunction, automatic first down”)?
do they have full uniform practices?

can people volunteer for the second team for practice scrimmages?

will their be male cheerleaders?

how is a fan to dress to show your team spirit?

Lovin' White Gold

One of my latest favorites from television land is not a show or a series, but a set of commercials. I can’t help but smile and get a huge kick out of the newest gimmick by the milk coalition. White Gold is pure brilliance. I hate milk – haven’t had a drop of the stuff since I was 12 or so. Even so, I must admit, those cow juice loving folks have some fun marketing approaches. Milk moustaches, to “GOT MILK”, and now White Gold.

This White Gold character rocks. His outfits are utterly fabulous – all that gold lamé and white – and his whole 80s hair band look – just wonderful.

I haven’t found a company yet that makes a White Gold costume, so if you are lovin’ this character like I am, it’s going to be a operation requiring a keen mind, a creative sense, and the bravery to venture into new territories. The good news is this costume is perfect for the latest spiral our economy has taken.

In order to complete your mission, you will need to make a trip to your local thrift store. Look at everything white and shiny gold. Gold lamé is the key carrying off this look in style. Inspect everything from tights, to knickers, tops, jackets, tights, shoes and accessories in search of pieces you can combine in White Gold style. He wears several different outfits so you have some flexibility here. Just remember these key points - gold lamé, white, gold lamé, and more white all combined in a loud, over-the-top way.

There are just two more items you just gotta have to make the White Gold look complete. His guitar and his hair. You’ll have to pull out your creative skills to create the guitar. Think cardboard, plastic, foam, or even wood (if you know you way around a saw and other sharp, pointy objects).

White Gold’s hair is . . . well . . . white and gold – big shock there, huh? He’s got that long super light blonde wig, with long gold bangs framing his face. I’d get a long blonde wig and color the bangs. And don't forget the moustache!

White Gold for Halloween!